Vicclap fórum téma:Idegen nyelvű viccek

Three Chinese guys, Bu, Chu and Fu, moved to the USA. They’ve decided to change their names to be “real Americans”. So Bu become Buck, Chu become Chuck and Fu…...... rather decided to go back to China.

There are two things I hate about my son's new partner:

He's black.

Jim tells a story to Joe:
I was walking down this street and this really sexy woman tells me, 'Oh my god. You are so hot. I want you to fuck me right now!'

It's true. You can ask Brad Pitt, he was right behind me.

What is the word, which starts with "N", ends with "R", and it's not a good thing to call a black person like this?

"witty" stuff from youtube:

The bass is so heavy my rubix cube fell off my desk and completed itsself, neighbors called the police and they got arrested, my windows broke and had to buy a mac, my cat barked, ʇxǝʇ ʎɯ oʇ sıɥʇ pıp doɹp ssɐq ǝɥʇ, I have to change my pants, made --- people miss the like button, mom walked in and I switched to porn, it became my neighbors favorite song, hitler got his gas bill, I pressed F13 for extra bass, my water turned into wine, I clicked 720p, it went B0:00M

A woman arrived to a party, and spotted an attractive man standing alone.
She approached him, smiled, and said:
- Hello, my name is Carmen.
- That's a beautiful name - he replied. - Is it a family name?
- No - she replied -, as a matter of fact, I gave it to myself. It represents the things I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore i chose "Carmen". And what's your name? - she said.
- B.J. Titsengolf.

What did the spider email to the fly?

Visit my Web site!

Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster.

“There is most certainly a difference,” said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune __ but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise ship carrying the Congress was to sink in the middle of the ocean, that would be a disaster __ but by no stretch of the imagination would it be a misfortune

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

The trainer replied; “Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"

At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples. I guess I eat about six, said little Johnny. No, said the teacher, it’s 'ate'! Little Johnny said well it could've been eight I don't remember.

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!

If Jim Morrison drove his van to Van Morrison's gym...

do you know what the most dangerous insect is?

The Hepatitis Bee

People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’.

I say there is.....

Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’

What happens if you see twin witches?
You wont be able to tell which witch is which.

Trying to do my share for the environment, I set up a trash
basket at my church and posted above it this suggestion:
"Empty water bottles here."

I should have been a little more specific, because when I
went to check it later, I didn't find any bottles in it. But
it was full of water.

'Wolfgang Mozart!' said Mozart's friend.
'What?' said Mozart.
And then they were both eaten by a pack of wolves.

Justin Beiber, putting the "S" in hit record just as Snoop Dog puts the "C" in rap music.

- Why does Peter Pan fly?
- 'Cause he never never lands!