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néhány gondolat:

When you are feeling down


1. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

2. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

3. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

4. The best vitamin for making friends....B1.

5. The 10 commandments are not multiple choices.

6. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

7. Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open.

8. Ideas won't work unless YOU do.

9. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

10. One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

11. The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

12. Don't learn safety rules by accident.

13. We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

14. Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.

15. A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.

16. One thing you can give and still keep ...is your word.

17. A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.

18. The pursuit of happiness is: the chase of a lifetime!

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?

The physician writing out a prescription for his hypertensive cardiac patient: “Diazepam 5mg (tranquilizer) TDS".

The patient’s wife asks, "Doctor, when are these medicines to be given?"

Doctor: "These are to be taken by you. He needs rest"

A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your hands?” The beggar replied, "You see sir, business is going so well I decided to open another branch".

hehe, ezek nagyon jók, Teve

Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!”

That hurt!

effective method

My girlfriend said "How dare you ask how many people I've been to bed with, thats my business!"
I said "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a professional."


I currently own a system which is exactly 14 times better than Windows 7.
I call it: Windows 98.

Valentine message:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your sister said no
How abut you?

While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. "What does the pin signify?" he asked one of them. "Oh! Nothing," she said with a chuckle. "We just use it to keep the doctors away."

bash.org:

- sleeping pills are for pussies
- No no no, you take these orally.

Ebből már csak a "cioban de suflet" hiányzott.

Princess Diana es Dodi Al Fayed meghaltak,ugye autobalesetben es felertek a mennyekbe.Dodi kezd dorombolni a kapun: Oh Allah,oh, you misunderstood me! I wanted to fuck Di in the car ,not to die in the fucking car :-)))))))

Erdelyieknek :-)!

Szekely bacsi felul Bukarestben a vonatra.Kerdi tole a roman bacsia de unde veniti?

-Pai am fost la Bucuresti che fata mea a intrat in bilet!(jegybe lepett ),che o fost musai che a fost facuta sus!:-) Chiar i-am zis la femeie:Vai,vai ce rusine,bine ne uitam afara! :-)No, da a fost frumos, am mincat rece sus taiat si cascaval principal de porc si toata seara am chintatasare macara sus pe cer!

:-)))

Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?

New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.

Yours certainly not

Another joke:

A woman at a department store ask a clerk: Will you help me out, please?

"Certainly, just go through that door" replied the clerk.

The weekend is a bit like my cock.
Not long enough.

Why do Americans love the super bowl so much?
Because they love the idea of taking territory by force.

Doctor, Doctor I think I am suffering from De-ja vu.

Didn't I see you yesterday?

A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. "Jury trial," the defendant replied. "Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge. "Sure," replied the defendant. "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."

A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight. "I need to talk to the governor, it's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer. After some cajoling, the governor's assistant agreed to wake him up. "So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place," beg the attorney. "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the mortuary," replied the governor.

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."